If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
