I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
