I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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