i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Damn victory sex feels great
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
