We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
