dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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