You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
