your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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