Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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