Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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