maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
