Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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