I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
