I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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