You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
