I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
