im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
