it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
