In the future we'll all be gay
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
