haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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