It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
