is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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