do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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