all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
