I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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