you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
