i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
