I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
