I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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