Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize