So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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