It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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