so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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