I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
