Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Your dad touched me again.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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