awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
