I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
