Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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