Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
