wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
