it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
