Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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