I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
