69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
