hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
