Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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