Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
