Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
