just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
