Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
