.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
