Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
