Umm I'm too high to move.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
