I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
