isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
