i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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