Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
