i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
