You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize