I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
