Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
