I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
